Search my first name on the Internet Movie Database and you get a stunt man, an actor in something called The Severed Arm, a video game composer and “miscellaneous crew” on Bryan Adams: Live at the Budokon. Not exactly a guest list for Elton John’s post-Oscar bash.

But I actually think that’s a good sign. The way I look at it, Hollywood is ready for a director named “Lance”. The law of averages alone demands it. So, I’m always fine-tuning my screenplay. It’s called “The Bull Must Live”. I won’t ruin it for you, but let me just say it’s the best movie about a matador in Portland that you’ve ever not seen.

It occurred to me today that if all Portland hotels were movies, Hotel deLuxe would be an independent film by someone like Steven Soderbergh or the Coen Brothers. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think the Hotel deLuxe could end up figuring in my movie.

If you haven’t been to the hotel since the old Mallory Hotel became the new Hotel deLuxe, you really need to. It kept the charm of that landmark of Portland hotels, but put a polish on the threadbare bits, and gave the whole place a glamour that wouldn’t have been out of place in ’50s Hollywood.

And one of these days Mr. Van Sant is going to come in, to meet friends or have a Monte Carlo in the Driftwood Room at Hotel deLuxe, and when he does I’m going to be there to open the door for him.

That’s a wrap.

Lance

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